Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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