he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
