I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
