I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize