what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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