you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
