I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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