Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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