I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
