I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
