Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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