why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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