Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
3pm strippers are depressing
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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