My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
