walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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