chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
FUCK WHALES
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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