I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
