just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
