Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Boobs are out for the taking
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
