Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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