good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Pooping to opera.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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