i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize