What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
