the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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