fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
where am i from again
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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