I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
