Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
