Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
