talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
