so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
