can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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