But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize