You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
