Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
