If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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