I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
