You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
