i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
