my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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