BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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