Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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