The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
