Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
