You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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