Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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