Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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