hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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