Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
