you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
