SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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