Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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